But over the past few months from Jan - Feb I've been so caught up with rehearsals and planning and crowdfunding and busking and singing and performing. It seems that all of the sudden my life knows where it is going to take me, but my mind and body still have got no idea. I'm overwhelmed and have times when I really sat alone at home and cried and thought "Why me?" and had quarrels with my good friends who performed music with me. It makes me reflect why I am still making music after a decade and why I want to perform my own songs with my friends whom I trust... because that's all how it started for me. And songwriting is still the most challenging and intimate way of expression for my innermost feelings. Without it, I probably wouldn't be alive or happy today.
The news of me performing in SXSW broke in December 2017 and for CMW in Feb 2018. Initially I didn't think it was a HUGE thing to perform overseas in these renowned music festivals, so I nearly brushed the notification emails off as spams. Luckily, I didn't and posted the email online to ask my musician friends - which in the end they verified for me that THE SHIT IS REAL.
It's really shit because big opportunities also come big sacrifices. I've already made countless sacrifices over the decade of music making journey and it was at this juncture this news came when I felt like giving up. So, I took it as another challenge for myself to push through another leap and put my 101% in this.
I feel like I suddenly have alot of benefactors to thank - Bas Linders from singaporegigs.com thank you so much for hosting my SXSW fundraising show. You and your wife Lynelle are so, so kind. Thank you! I also want to thank Leonard Soosay from Snakeweed Studios for recommending George Wong, the guitarist and also a brilliant sounds assistant working for him, and for helping me out so unconditionally and passionately with my sounds during my fundraising show and offering all the tours and music festival advices. Thank you so much Saiful from The Great Spy Experiment for donating to my fundraiser. And everyone who believe in me and my music. Thank you and thank YOU.
Very thankful to Kyla T (Tiffany) and George Wong who's been performing and rehearsing so FUCKING hard with me and going through my songs like they are jigsaw puzzles. Thank you to the adorable Rachel Leto who's helped us so much and singing with me! Really love all of their musicality and personality and apart from bringing value to my music, these three certainly have lots to bring to the table in terms of quality music. Sometimes I feel like they do not understand their exact true worth yet. But I do.
Thank you to my sister, Yxyvonne, for helping me do last-minute touch up and design for my marketing promotional music materials - be it for CDs, merchandise, EPs, posters, artcards for sale etc. Big love to you, my blood sister.
Thank you to Kenny, Faizal who used to write and record all my songs with me, and thank you to Jian Ming from Aeonix Productions who always showed so much patience and insights to get my songs properly recorded.
Thank you to Raye who's with me through thick and thin for almost 5 or 6 years already. Please don't give a fuck about what other people say anymore. I still can't believe we've kinda seen each other grown so much over the years and I am so proud of us :) Thank you for always pointing the video camera lens at me and portraying my true self in your magical videography hands.
And finally, thank you so much to Sean Joseph Tan, my one and only partner and valentine, who's seen my tears more than my joy, who's made me want to be a better and stronger and braver woman. I don't know what I'll do without you. Thank you for challenging me and loving me so hard all the same and all the time. I love you and I appreciate all that you've done for me so much even though you always fart so loudly at random timings. Thank you, to the most handsome and beautiful man, you.
Some pictures to sum up all my performances and rehearsals (the rest can be found on my music Facebook - fb.com/fymsummermusic.)
(Kenny Ng & I playing for Doctors Without Borders, a NGO)
(In this picture, Sean Joseph Tan, Debra Khng, Nick Chim, George Wong, Leonard Soosay, Kyla T, and Beng)
(Busking on the streets to fundraise with George Wong)
(In this picture, Seth from Cadence band and I performing at a Valentine's themed music night titled "Rock And Rollmance" for City65 Music Festival.
(At my music show at one of the largest carnivals @ Marina Bay Singapore, so fun!)
(My +1, Sean Joseph Tan & I attending music awards night by COMPASS)
(Rehearsal sessions...)
(Dressing room before show...)
If you will like to contribute to my music trips fundraiser, kindly head to: https://www.generosity.com/community-fundraising/sxsw-music-fest-2018-trip-fundraiser
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